Alone at home with the babies

My partner is at the gym, I am at home babysitting. So I must be in trouble because I have to handle 2 babies at the same time, right? Well actually the opposite, I even find time to write this article… how can this be?

Scaling and Delegation

The main problem with 2 parents trying to care at the same time is “delegation”. With 2+ babies it is also the problem of “scaling”. Or are you a single mom/father longing for support?

Scaling means that 2 babies are not just double the work, because babies don’t scale well. Take our stroller for example:

• 1 baby = single stroller
• 2 babies = double stroller (here is our review of the Bugaboo Donkey 5)
• 3 babies??? Impossible?

But it should still be easier when we are 2 taking care of 1+ babies at the same time, right? Not really, because of delegation. We spend a lot of time discussing

• who is doing what
• who makes food
• who changes diapers
• who sleeps with which baby
• where somebody left the pacifier, etc.

When I am alone it is simple: I know I have to do everything and I know exactly where each baby is and I am not constantly looking for pacifiers etc. because I know exactly where I put it.

I even have time to write this article. Because nobody will interrupt me with random tasks because I can follow my own agenda, esp. when the babies are sleeping or entertained. Actually my partner just returned from the gym and told me to call the Arbeiterkammer (it is something to do with the money for our children). So I have to interrupt and will be back to writing in a moment (I hope haha).

Recharging the batteries

When both parents take care of one child or more children at the same time

• they are both getting exhausted,
• because they will constantly be vigilant and ready to help when necessary
• both feel obliged to step in when a baby wakes up
• which is very inefficient because most of the time only one parent is needed!

So when one parent goes away like in the gym or to work (yes, work esp. office work is like vacation) he or she can recharge the batteries and has more energy afterwards.

Of course I think both parents should go working or doing their thing and I am not advocating that only the mother is taking care of the children. How can she recharge her batteries then?

Hacks

Ok, so there is still the problem of scaling. When I am alone I need to find creative ways (“Hacks”) to handle and entertain the babies (at least when they are awake), i.e. to become more efficient so that 2 babies are not (more than) 2 times the work.

Baby Swing

We put the babies in a swing when we are in the kitchen for example so that they can be with us and also we can feed them and they can hold on to the bottle when drinking (or we use a blanket to prop it up). We put the seatbelt so they will not fall out!

When we were on holidays we also put the babies into the Doona+ Carseat Strollers.

Note: Prolonged sitting in a swing or carseat is no healthy!

Baby Gym

We now have two baby gyms, one for each baby because it is the perfect tool for babies to entertain themselves. After some time they will get bored but if we are near we can cheer or pick them up again.

Also it is much better if they are on a playmat than in the baby swing because they are free to roll around (they are 6 month and cannot crawl yet but one baby is starting to roll around).

Baby Monitor

I use a TP-Link Tapo Security Camera to monitor the babies when I am in the kitchen:

It also has a microphone so I will hear when the babies are crying. Everything works without subscription, i.e. I can also monitor the babies when I am out and about like in the gym with no additional costs!

Crib on wheels

Usually they say that with twins one baby will not wake the other one up but with our babies it is not true because unfortunately one has a very light sleep. So what we do now is that during the day we move one crib to a separate room.

This is possible because we have a big appartment.

The disadvantage of this is that when I am alone I need to check in two rooms so I will have to buy a second camera. And maybe they will sleep in their own room anyways (right now they sleep in our room).

Baby carrier

After feeding the babies they need to be held upright but this is difficult when I have to do something in the kitchen so I put them in a baby carrier. Usually they complain in the beginning, but after some time they fall asleep (when they have been fed properly) and I can put them down.

The carrier is not 100% ideal because it is very difficult to lean down, for example when I have to pick something up, tie my shoes, etc. Also I have to be super careful when working with hot oil or cutting something with a knife. Also I cannot sit down for eating or working at my desk. Well it works if the baby is asleep. But I have a solution for this… my standing desk!

Hip Seat

Since our 6 month old babies already weigh over 8 kg they are difficult to carry. A great help is the hip seat. The baby can also be carried facing forward or sitting on the side.

Shoulder Carrier Belt

With the hip seat the baby has to be held firmly. That’s why we also have a shoulder belt carrier. Compared to a baby carrier it is quicker to put on.

Our babies like that they have more freedom to move. But still we have to be careful: Only when we sit down, our hands can be free – when we are eating for example.

We like that the baby – for example when it falls asleep – can be quickly layed down (together with the belt):

Standing desk

For my homeoffice I have a standing desk. So I can stand in front of the computer with the baby in the baby carrier (and write this article for example).

I recently bought a thick anti fatigue mat so that I can stand for longer periods of time. This kind of mat can also be useful when working in the kitchen or I put the feet there when sitting to relax them.

It goes without saying that babies can quickly get overflown with information when staring at a computer screen or tv and get very fuzzy. Luckily (?) they don’t like it when I am standing still for a longer period of time anyways…

Conclusion

We are constantly learning how to distribute the work with the babies so that it is fair for everyone. And it is actually a win-win situation when we understand that one parent can go out to the gym or go to work without feeling guilty because he or she knows that it is not easier if both parents are present all the time. In German we have the saying “Zu viele Köche verderben den Brei.” (“Too many cooks spoil the broth”) And this is exactly how it is!

How are you handling multiple babies or just a single baby? How do you split the work? Or are you are a single parent and long for somebody helping you? What kind of “hacks” in addition to the ones mentioned below are you using so that the babies stay happy and can still strive?

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